Building on our theme from two weeks ago that rescuing others is not really helping them (Rescuing is Not Helping), this week we take a quick look at The Drama Triangle, developed by psychologist Stephen Karpman. This model provides insights into the dynamics of dysfunctional relationships and toxic interactions.
The Drama Triangle illustrates the three key roles often present in unhealthy relationships. The triangle consists of the victim, the persecutor, and the rescuer. The participants can get caught up in a perpetuating cycle of negative emotions, blame, and power struggles.
The victim often feels helpless, powerless, and hopeless. They may adopt a passive role and tend to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions believing they don’t have the power to change their circumstances.
The rescuer has the good intention of trying to help the victim, so they step in and offer quick solutions which ultimately enables the victim’s behavior and builds dependencies. Rescuers inevitably over commit and don’t look after their own needs first so they may become overwhelmed and burned out.
The persecutor adopts an aggressive stance, blaming the victim and criticizing the rescuer without offering helpful guidance.
The roles may not be static, as the players can change roles, but if one person switches roles the others will naturally change their roles to counterbalance.
The triangle may not necessarily be a dysfunctional scenario if in the short term it leads to constructive conflict and issues are addressed. However, over the long-term if the relationships are detrimental to one or more of the participants, then steps should be taken to break the triangle.
Self-awareness is the first step to breaking free. Understand the role you are playing and adjust your behavior to change the dynamics. Communicate with the other participants and take active steps to break the negative cycle.
Next week we will explore how the Drama Triangle can be replaced by Womeldorff’s (Emerald’s) The Empowerment Dynamic which offers the participants a more empowering and positive approach to their roles.
Sources:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/remyblumenfeld/2018/12/07/how-to-transform-your-relationships-by-getting-creative/?sh=7638915a7565
https://leadershiptribe.com/blog/the-drama-triangle-explained
https://karpmandramatriangle.com/
